I feel like screaming.
I thought these thoughts and feelings were gone, but they’re back. WHY!?
I feel like getting in my car and driving. Driving with all the windows down, driving fast. Feeling the wind on my face, the cold air against my skin. I want to drive to an empty field, get out and just scream.
I want to scream and cry, I just…. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.
I just want to be happy, does it even actually exist? Are people ever truly happy? I’m seriously starting to doubt it.
Some of my thoughts are frightening me and i’m trying hard to banish them, but their echo is still there. I still thought them even if it was just for a second. They were still there once.
They always come back to haunt me when I’m alone. But what can i do? It’s just as unhealthy to relay on others to keep me from my self-pity. Anyway the one thing i have learnt is that when you really need people they are never there. It’s like Lifes own person bitch slap.
I don’t know, i’m guess I’m just going to continue listening to my depressing playlist and having outbursts of tears.
